Growing up in a difficult family or living in a difficult family inevitably has all kinds of negative consequences. These add to the other challenges you face – challenges around purpose and meaning of life, earning a living and paying the bills, getting sick, falling in love, making mistakes and disappointing you, and more.
Here are 6 tips that can help and serve you!
- Accepting to be human
Individuals experience stress in a wide range of ways: misery, nervousness, addictions, useless fixations, undesirable impulses, self-sabotage, physical illnesses, conflicts of conscience, hopelessness, boredom and angry, moody and restless.
Can you accept this? When distress returns, can you stand without surprise? Instead of blaming others, take a stand to improve your situation and be proud of yourself for taking this step.
- Recognize the constraints of personality
Our personality is both a pressure cooker and a windowless room. He sends our minds into excitement, he builds grievances, he chooses sides, he is frightened, he experiences disappointments and losses, he keeps dark secrets, he is violently caught, he wants what he wants, and he knows how to hate at least as well as he knows how to love.
However, what it does and how it works does not seem to interest its owner. It is as if we were born with genetic instruction before all the others: “Never look at yourself in the mirror!” Your personality is your responsibility, and your personality is your destiny. Only you can improve it.
- Be yourself
You need to improve, however, you additionally must act naturally. It implies requesting what you need, setting limits, having your convictions and conclusions, going to bat for your qualities, wearing the garments you need to wear, eating the nourishment you need to eat, expressing the things you need to state, and saying endless different approaches to be you and not somebody little or phony.
It does not mean denying the importance of others – individuals, communities or civil society. On the contrary, it means that if you are gay, you are gay; if you are intelligent, you are intelligent; If you need freedom, you demand freedom. Use your personality to improve your personality.
- Adore and be adored
Some portion of our temperament requires isolation and powerful independence. Yet, it can’t of our temperament. We feel more joyful, hotter, and simply much better, we live more, and we experience life as progressively important if we love and let ourselves be adored. We must be individual, yet we additionally need to identify with others.
Doing both requires that we recognize the reality of others that we not only speak but also that we listen, and that we make ourselves capable of relationships by eliminating our worst faults and growing up. If you hold back, if you drive with criticism, if you can’t overcome yourself – whatever you do that hurts your chances for love, have that remedied as one of your primary life goals.
- Beware of your thoughts
Nothing can be more distressing than our thoughts. We need to work to identify the un-serving thoughts, modify them and replace them with useful ones. Only you have the authority over your mind: if you lose control, your life will be distressing.
Do you think you are ruined? This thought will spoil you. Do you think you are worthless? This thought will diminish you. Do you think the world is a bad place to live? This thought will confuse you. Your distress is not only held firmly by the thoughts you think but also it is those thoughts.
Imagine a day without inner commentary on all that is hard, all that frightens and all that is wrong. Wouldn’t that be a better day?
- Heal your past
We cannot completely control our mind, our emotions or our being that we can always prevent old pain points and the residue of trauma from coming back to an unusual extent. They have a way of harassing us like anxious sweating, nightmares, anger, sudden sadness and defeat. They remain not only as a memory but also as a personality, woven into our fabric. Nevertheless, we can nonetheless try to heal the past by thinking about how we want to relate to these deep memories.
What will you do when you are hit by a flashback? What tactics will you use when you are fatigued with rage or regret? From what reserve will you call energy to get through the pain? Healing is not a metaphor: it is a call to action.
Emotional health and pain-free living are not the same things. You can be as emotionally healthy as a person can be and still suffer from the pain of losing a loved one, finding your occupation insignificant, or finding your intimate relationship falling apart. You can still have real problems every day accepting your mortality, treating your lack of income or tolerating your chronic pain. We should not judge emotional health by the amount of pain a person experiences. A moral, mental and emotional giant can still be plagued by sadness.